Balancing Act

How many times have we been asked, have we asked or have we wondered, how can/do/should we balance it all? 

Marriage, motherhood, work, ministry, friendships, etc.

The older I get, I have begun to realize that it’s actually NOT about balance, it’s about priority. 

You see, balance is holding two things, were the weight is equally distributed and you don’t lean one way or the other, BUT what two things are you holding at equal weight?

We can only balance two things at a time, right?

 Unless we’re some kind of cirque du Soleil act, most of us can’t also use our toes to hold more things and keep our balance with our heels and/or our elbows. Lol

(And if you CAN do that, I wanna see, bc I love cirque du Soleil type things 😆)

If I’m balancing my marriage on one hand and my girls on the other, my relationship with my parents/brother/friends, will suffer. I won’t much have time for ministry, personal development, or other things either.

My marriage and my children are the things I hold closest to my heart, they are the most important persons in my life. However, only focusing on them, pushes Jesus to the side as well. 

What good am I to my husband and my daughters, if my time with Jesus is scarce?

Because He’s the only one who can calm my crazy, fill me with peace and refresh my heart, mind and soul. 

I don’t know about you, but when I’ve gone days without really spending time in God’s presence, it shows, and it shows big time! 

My temper is short, I’m easily agitated, I feel exhausted, I’m stressed, I get a little selfish 🤦🏽‍♀️, my anxiety revs up to level 100, and the list goes on…

Anyway, having said all that, is what has brought me to the conclusion that it really is about priority.

The number one priority, above anyone and anything else in this life, should always be Jesus. 

Number TWO priority, is my husband and our relationship.

Number THREE priority are my girls. 

And then everything else, all other relationships, friendships, ministry, duties, etc., are what follows. 

When I start my day, this is how my focus should be directed. I wish I could sit here and tell you that I do this consistently. 

Truth is, I don’t and I then fall into the, well let me balance it all, trap. 

I say trap because I have this mental note of EVERYTHING that needs to get done, only to find that I accomplished like 2 things. It leaves me feeling like a failure at the end of the day, and like, why do I even bother with anything?! 

Am I the only one? I don’t know, I hope I’m not ha!

We cannot balance it all! It’s not possible, to balance all of our relationships, duties and responsibilities. There is always going to be one, two or three things that suffered today. 

The trick is realizing that it’s OKAY. 

Trust me, if I could make sure that everyone was happy and not have something to whine or complain about in this house, 

AND 

have not one speck on the floor, 

AND 

have spent time in personal development

AND 

have met up with my friend I haven’t seen in a couple weeks

AND

have worn something other than the same workout pants I’ve been wearing for the last 3 days

AND 

Actually work out in said workout pants

AND

At least put some concealer on,

AND 

Have ALL… ALL the laundry done, folded, hung and put away with no more left to wash,

AND 

have dinner made and ready to eat as soon as my husband comes home from work

AND, AND, AND!!!

I would share with you all, my secret!!

I’d probably make millions off the book I’d write about it. 

But I don’t, sadly 😩

My point is, write a list of the priorities in your life. 

Then, write out how much time you are going to set aside for each one on a daily basis. 

Sometimes, they won’t always be the same priorities for that day or week. (Aside from Jesus and family, they are always or at least should always be a priority).

When you get down to things like social media, you realize how much time you’ve actually wasted there and can then set aside time specifically for it when you just want to veg out. Cuz there’s nothing wrong with that!

Right now, one of my biggest priorities, is getting our house in order. Switching out the girl’s clothes, and organizing it all. De-cluttering and making sure everything has its place. 

It’s hard, stressful and so so time consuming, but once that’s out of the way, I can then prioritize other things. 

Ah there’s nothing I want more right now, then to not have to hang or fold one mo thang!! But if doesn’t get done now, and become a priority now, it’ll be a thing lingering around for months!! 

Anyway, this was as much an encouragement for me, as I hope it has been for you!

In summary, don’t try to find the balance, just prioritize, it’s so much simpler that way. It doesn’t feel overwhelming, it’s just “a matter of fact,” in the present. I truly think, we are much happier when we realize that we cannot balance everything. We are human, and were not made to do everything alone or all at once because that would be kind of chaotic, right? 

Anywho.

Lean on the Lord when you do find yourself overwhelmed and feel like giving up. Trust that you are not alone! 

“For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven…What do people really get for all their hard work? I have seen the burden God has placed on us all. Yet God has made everything beautiful for its own time. He has planted eternity in the human heart, but even so, people cannot see the whole scope of God’s work from beginning to end. So I concluded there is nothing better than to be happy and enjoy ourselves as long as we can.”

Ecclesiastes 3:1, 9-12 NLT

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Change

goals, change, dreams, motivation, blog, mom blog, blogging, faith blog, mom devotional

We all have goals. We all have desires. We all want to see that change. 

At the start of every year, we jot all these things down, saying that “this is the year!” The year comes and goes, and we have one “check” here and there, and we’re back to the same habits, same routines, same, same, same… change didn’t really occur past January, at best, past February.

Is it just me?

During my social media fast, I learned a lot and gained lots of insight and a different perspective on how I’ve been functioning. I’ve been doing two different devotionals, with two different friends, we’ve had prayer nights and nights of revival at our church and the messages have been so on point, like daggers to my heart, my mind and my soul.

Monday night, Pastor Alex Seely spoke an incredible message about Breaking Camp (you can skip to minute 41 at the start of her message), I  seriously encourage you all to head to the link to watch it, because, she killed it! She said, we keep expecting change to happen, but we don’t do anything different! How can we expect something different to happen, if we’re in the same spot, unwilling to move, or too lazy to move?

We’re too comfortable, right?

We have to get down on our knees and intercede for those goals, those desires, for that change. 

Wow… intercede. When did I forget about interceding with God? When did I forget that prayer has to go deeper than the surface level?

God can call us all day long to the place we’ve been wanting to be in, but if we just show up and expect the rest to just happen and land in our laps, it won’t. We have to work.

“Do you want to be shown, you foolish person, that faith apart from works is useless?”  James 2:20 ESV

Last night, the message was also amazing, the devotionals I previously mentioned, though different, have all spoken the same message to me.

We are on day 16 of the year and I can tell you that so far, I’ve been in the word every day this year. I want to be in the word every day for the rest of the year too, but I have to make sure that I am working towards that. I can’t allow myself to place instagram, Pinterest, facebook, tv shows, etc before making sure that I did something that day, to work towards accomplishing my goals for the year and working towards that change I want to see happen.

So my friends, I want to ask you: What are you doing different this year, to actually accomplish your goals? If you haven’t done one thing different, it’s never too late to start! Start today, with just one thing!

Let’s keep each other accountable, let’s revisit in March and see if we’re still doing something different to make this year our “best year yet!”

Let’s do it and really work hard and intercede with God for what He’s calling us to and for.

Let’s not let another year go by without actually changing our circumstance, situation or mindset!

Let’s win this year!

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